Wisdom from a Worm
A gardener's lot...
This morning I was suddenly seized by the "Do It" bug, so instead of just feeding my compost worms I started sorting out one troublesome box.
Up to now I had avoided doing anything, even though I knew there was a serious drainage issue, which means waterlogged worms. The worm boxes are stacked up in piles of two each and when full are ruddy heavy, so I had a good excuse all these many months. Unless I have a helping hand, I could not do it by myself.
There is zero money for a gardener, so nothing has happened, but there are days when you are filled with determination and anything can happen.
Well, this morning I decided to try. I lifted up the top box and it came away really easily. The poor wormies up top were basically sitting in their own slodgy sludge, while the lot that had fallen down below were swimming in their own shit.
It took nearly almost a back breaking hour to separate the worms from the shit with my hands wrist deep. That included draining the boxes and restoring order, but I had a good number of insights while doing so.
Sooner, or later you can lift a heavy load by yourself.
Sooner, or later the time will come when you will have to do the shittiest jobs.
Worms drown in water, but are content to swim in shit, so why should I be bothered by what is basically organic sludge?
Things get easier if enough time passes.
Sometimes you do stuff out of a sense of responsibility and other days you care.
Some days you are stronger and filled with more resolve than other's.
Your LO's are a bit like worms. Wiggly and hard to pin down, so you need a lot of patience.
Some LO's can be sneaky like some worms. You just have to keep your eyes peeled. You also have days when you will be moving nonstop in order to keep up.
I have learnt that I can cope with a lot of shit when I have water. Everything washes off in the end.
Take care of the basic's. Get whatever tools you need to do what you need to do!
If I am more organized, then I can tackle a load of shit! My thing these days is using a "timer" with an alarm.
I have to wake up earlier, if I am going to get more shit done.
I need to make lists so I get the shit done I need to do.
How you think about something defines how you cope with it. Change your attitude, or mindset to a positive one and find tools to help you cope.
In this instance, the worm box was placed on an old commode frame, so it meant I could now tip the lower box half full of water to drain it, without having to lift it up.
Last, but not least "Shit Happens" and there is always a cause and effect. However, pondering the cause does not mean you do not have to deal with the effect. If you have chosen to deal with "all the shit", or it has been forced on you to deal with then "suck it up!"
You can "why me" all you like, but we all make hard choices.
"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are".
When you love someone you take care of them "no matter what it takes". My mother and I are "chalk and cheese", "positive vs negative", "Cancer vs Capricorn" and I could go on infinitum, but you get the picture? If I say something is "black", she will insist it is "white".
I love my mother dearly, but there are days I swear a lot and there are days I could cheerfully throttle her. She knows she nags me nonstop, irritates me considerably and does not understand me in the least, but she is too old to change, so I choose to accept it. It doesn't mean she loves me less. Even when she ALWAYS takes my brother's advice and NEVER takes mine!
If you don't love them, but they happen to be a parent, or sibling and you are their only help, then you do it because you are a decent human being. If you don't get rewarded for your virtue in this life, then you will be rewarded in the next. If you don't believe in the next, then you are just a kind soul who does not believe in a supernatural God and creator of the universe.
Growing up, I was one girl amongst two brothers plus a half brother, so when a dog, or cat kotched on the carpet, or did whatever else they do. I usually ended up being the one to clean it up. They just did not have the stomach for it!
I used to tidy up the house before my mom got home. She left for work early and got home late. On good days it was a half day and we got picked up at school. I was always trying to please her and nothing much has changed. I now accept the fact that I will always try to get her approval, but it seldom happens.
Her youngest son died and she was left with the oldest (golden boy) and moi. Some times you have shitty siblings and that is the case with me. I would not even insult him by calling him a worm. He is just a plain old self-centred shit!
Okay, enough of the family sob story... thinking about shit got me thinking about bowel movements. My little dog has liver damage from a vet giving her too much Rimadryl without any routine liver enzymes blood tests for monitoring, so my new homeopathic vet prescribed homeopathic supplements, a raw diet and Kombucha to help her liver detoxify and reseed the gut bacteria.
Recently, I skimmed through an article re the gut/brain connection and it suddenly dawned on me that ourselves and our parents have been routinely dosed with antibiotic's for decades, so our intestinal flora must be in pretty poor shape. It is only in the last decade that doctor's started prescribing Probiotic's to take with antibiotics, but I am not sure that one lot will do the trick.
So mom and I will start drinking Kombucha and I am going to make Sauerkraut for the fermented bugs in it and generally embracing natural, or homeopathic remedies.
Many LO's with dementia suffer from repeated UTI's, just like mine. Her doctor put her on Macrodantin, which has dreadful side effects, especially taken full time over a long period. It was only after a duodenal ulcer and resulting haemorrhage last year that resulted in maman needing 5 sachets of blood, did she relent and try my natural remedies.
Things like lemon in Rooibos tea, plain boiled water, Chamomile or parsley tea and the list goes on... It worked and so there have been no more UTI's.
We used "Red Rice Yeast Extract" to treat the high cholesterol and there were none of the side effects she gets from the Statins prescribed, which have found to be one of the causative agents for Alzheimer's.
Finally, I often feel like a worm because I am looking after maman without sufficient finances, so I feel like a failure and we stress about medical bills and a few other's.
Today I decided that I am doing the best I can do in my ability. This journey has been a tough one and we are only half way there, so now and then I will feel like a worm. I can live with that!